How did we get here...?

Hey there, meet me. I am dating, blonde and confused. Let's just called me DBC for short.

I know I need to start somewhere but I haven't really put my finger on how to start at all. Until now. I hope. (Or not as the case may be). 

I'm sat in bed, taking off a large amount of make up with my slightly rubbish high street cleanser (girl can't help being a strong 2), watching the Vicar of Dibley, and wondering what the hell happened today. 

Seriously, there is something in the air tonight that is making couples go a little crazy. Scratch that. Very crazy. 

The trouble is, when in life you meet the male carbon copy of yourself, you can't help but feel that maybe fate will one day pull you together. (Or fate might be a load of bullshit, and I just need to accept that he doesn't want me because I've got chunky calves and 'baggage'.) So when said Carbon Copy calls you up having had a catastrophic fallout with his girlfriend, it leaves you 1) secretly in hope that he has seen the error of his ways and actually wants you, and 2) wondering where the hell this leaves you. Why call me? Why me? We haven't spoken in months...Me? 

Your best friend text you to tell you that her boyfriend is having second thoughts about their relationship. And your Significant Other (please note: not my boyfriend, I don't actually know what we are) has practically ignored you for most of this week and conversation hasn't been any deeper than one that I could have with my cat. And I don't have a cat. So that's really saying something. 

My head is scrambled and I'm just sat here in bed, rather looking forward to whipping out my colouring book and crayons before a night sleep. 

This little blog exists because my friends thought it should. That or write a book. And I'd be shit at writing a book, so here we are. Not going to lie, most of the posts that I'll post on here in the weeks (maybe even months, because why the hell not) to come will be filled with anecdotes and stories from past relationships or periods of distinct single-ness. I hope they make you feel slightly better about the brain fucking, eye watering, and, quite frankly, vomit inducing experiences that Cupid has so selfishly thrust upon you. Bastard. 

So here we are, welcome to DBC. Let me tell you how we got here...